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:iconbil-sabab: More from Bil-Sabab


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Submitted on
December 29, 2011
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961 bytes
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486
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8
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Oh,
let us
to Feel
the smell
of maple tree...

Oh,
let us
To feel
the scent
of pine tree,
Burning...

Oh,
let us
To see
The water
And it's edge...

Oh,
let us
Be Broad,
and by the time,
a river...

Oh,
let us
to fill
Ourselves
by roars and moans...

Oh,
let us
to Look...
and, Oh,
let us
to Touch...
and, Oh,
let us
adore
The red, The Red, The RED
Of roses - Rose-red, rose's red and it's insides  and them...

Oh,
let us
to be
the red...

Oh,
let us
to Be
deceived...

-Oh,
let us
Be covered by the hills
And, oh, let us
To be the hills
For those who will deserve it
new rose
damned
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcloverclamps:
cloverclamps Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012
Wonderful
Reply
:iconjasmine-sinclair:
Jasmine-Sinclair Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012
very beautiful! :)
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:iconbil-sabab:
Bil-Sabab Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
What exactly?
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:iconjasmine-sinclair:
Jasmine-Sinclair Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2012
i have to say i am not normally into poetry but i love the rhythm and also the images it conjures up in my mind.
Reply
:iconsolus-photography:
Solus-Photography Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2011  Professional Photographer
Lovely work, it's reminding me of something I just cant put my finger on at the moment.
Reply
:iconhalohid:
Halohid Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2011
Nicely done. I really like the format: how you have dictated to us the pace and rhythm by breaking the words into short lines. I also enjoy 'rose-red, rose's red' because I am always into that kind of thing: changing just one tiny thing to change the meaning.

In general, the best way to get my attention is to send me a note and ask me to read something and respond to a specific aspect of your work. I very, very rarely respond to 'please read this' comments just because I am so busy but if you write to me specially and tell me that you want my thoughts on a particular element in a poem, I am there. Eventually. I often vanish from DA for months at a time. Sorry about that.
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:iconportaljumper339:
portaljumper339 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2011  Student General Artist
Very nice. Never been one for poetry, but it's very emotional and evokes quite a few scenes from my own life. Good job.
Reply
:iconbil-sabab:
Bil-Sabab Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2011
Thank You!
Reply
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